I’ve always loved a good relationship quiz. This one is better thought-out than your typical Cosmo quiz. It comes from a book that I picked up a few years ago. It’s a New York Times bestseller by Dr. Phil (Phillip C. McGraw) entitled “Relationship Rescue.” The quiz centres around the question “How well do you know your partner?” As Dr. Phil points out, “Changing the way you consider another person can result in profound changes in your behavior and reactions toward him or her. When you challenge your own fixed beliefs about your partner, and replace them with new and fresh knowledge, you can close the distance between you.”
True or false?…
1. I can name my partner’s three best friends.
2. I know what accomplishments my partner is most proud of.
3. I can identify the happiest time in my partner’s life.
4. I know what my partner considers to be his/her greatest losses in life.
5. I can describe what my partner considers to be his/her greatest area of difficulty in interacting with each of his/her parents.
6. I know what will probably be playing on the radio when my partner is driving somewhere.
7. I can name the relatives that my partner would most likely try to avoid at a family reunion.
8. I can describe the most traumatic event that occurred in my partner’s childhood.
9. My partner has clearly identified for me what he/she wants in life.
10. I can identify the obstacles that my partner believes are preventing him/her from getting what they want.
11. I know which of my partner’s physical features he/she is least happy about.
12. I can recall the very first impressions I had of my partner.
13. I know what section of the Sunday newspaper my partner is likely to turn to first.
14. I can describe, in some detail, the home environment in which my partner was raised.
15. I know what makes my partner laugh.
16. I know what my partner’s parents would probably say is the thing about him/her they are most proud of.
17. I can describe two or three decisions my partner made before we met that he/she now regrets – and my partner can do the same about me.
18. I know which part of a restaurant menu my partner is likely to look at first.
19. I can quote three things my partner says to me that he/she says to no one else in the world.
20. I am thoroughly familiar with my partner’s religious beliefs.
How many times did you answer “true?” If you have more than ten, you know your partner fairly well. Fewer than ten, however, and it’s probably a good idea to do a little work getting to know each other more deeply. It may seem that his favourite colour or her insecurity about her flabby arms are trivial matters in the scope of your relationship but – believe it or not- knowledge of these “little things” creates a foundation for everything else you will face together.
Time to bust out a bottle of red.